"But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope..." - Quote by Mark Twain

“To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, "Our Country, right or wrong," and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?”

“If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.”

“Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.”

“If there had been a censorship of the press in Rome we should have had today neither Horace nor Juvenal, nor the philosophical writings of Cicero.”

“One battle doesn't make a campagin, but critics treat one book, good or bad, like a whole war.”

“[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.”

“The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it.”

“Belts are only good for holding up your pants”

“It's just too bad we can't have an epidemic of botulism.”