"I like refried beans. That's why I..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.”
“I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys."”
“A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”
More on Humor
“Lady Bracknell. Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you are behaving very well. Algernon. I’m feeling very well, Aunt Augusta. Lady Bracknell. That’s not quite the same thing. In fact the two things rarely go together.”
“When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.”
“Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.”
More on Food
“What we need in this country is a general improvement in eating. We have the best raw materials in the world, both quantitatively and qualitatively, but most of them are ruined in the process of preparing them for the table.”
“When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that really matters. We only have one or two wars in a lifetime, but we have three meals a day -- there's nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating.”
“I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.”