“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”

“I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.”

“The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"”

“I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.”

“Do I have to use my own money?”

“Be great in act, as you have been in thought.”

“My free drift Halts not particularly, but moves itself In a wide sea of wax; no levelled malice Infects one comma in the course I hold, But flies an eagle flight, bold and forth on, Leaving no tract behind.”

“Talking isn't doing. It is a kind of good deed to say well; and yet words are not deeds.”