“In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.”

“I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.”

“The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"”

“I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.”

“Do I have to use my own money?”

“Thou know'st the first time that we smell the air we wawl and cry. When we are born we cry, that we are come to this great state of fools.”

“A living thing is born.”

“When we consider how much climate contributes to the happiness of our condition, by the fine sensation it excites, and the productions it is the parent of, we have reason to value highly the accident of birth in such a one as that of Virginia.”