"The Ford Falcon holds the proud title..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“Never trust anything you read in a travel article.”

“A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.”

“I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.”

“Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.”

“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”

“I bought a new Japanese car, I turned on the radio ... I don't understand a word they're saying.”

“I could not help wondering in my own mind....how it came to pass that our joints of meat were of such extraordinary shapes - and whether our butcher contracted for all the deformed sheep that came into the world; but I kept my reflections to myself.”

“I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."”

“Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.”