"Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on..." - Quote by Erma Bombeck

“Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.”

“Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'”

“Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.”

“If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children. This was inevitable. Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.”

“Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.”

“I don't always know what I'm talking about, but I know I'm right.”

“Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers.”

“If the present Congress errs in too much talking, how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people send one hundred and fifty lawyers, whose trade it is to question everything, yield nothing, and talk by the hour?”

“Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.”