"Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body..." - Quote by Erma Bombeck

“Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.”

“Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.”

“The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight.”

“Any sane person would have left long ago. But I cannot. I have my sons.”

“The mother is the first teacher of the child. The message she gives that child, that child gives to the world.”

“And because I love this lifeI know I shall love death as wellThe child cries out whenFrom the right breast the motherTakes it away, in the very next momentTo find in the left oneIts consolation.”

“As you get older, time speeds up but life slows down.”

“I find my breath gets short, but it seldom gets longer as a man gets older. I take it as it comes, and make the most of it. That's the best way, ain't it?”

“I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.”