"I've never vied for power in the..." - Quote by Erma Bombeck
I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!" was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
More by Erma Bombeck
“Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.”
“Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first time around, so they don't ask again. And let's be honest here, people. English is not a doctor's first language.”
“If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.”
More on Humor
“If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.”
“Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.”
“normal person's weekly chore list: 1. clean kitchen. 2. clean bathroom. 3. clean entire rest of domicile. cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list: 1. don't get peanut butter on sheets.”