"I don't even care what Bill Bryson..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.”

“The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.”

“You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat reads those stories too, and has spent most of its skulking, devious little life dreaming about inheriting all your money.”

“An index is a great leveller.”

“If the book we are reading does not wake us, as with a fist hammering on our skull, why then do we read it?”

“The words of my book nothing, the drift of it everything.”

“I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

“If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom.”

“The authors who affect contempt for a name in the world put their names to the books which they invite the world to read.”