"I'm against picketing, but I don't know..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: Air Conditioning. Problem solved.”
“I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans are in this jar, and win a prize". Aw, come on, man, let just me have some. I'll tell you what, guess how many jellybeans I want! If you guessed a handful, you are right.”
“Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
More on Humor
“Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!”
“It's a wonderful feeling to have a niece like youBecause you are always so dearYou are so dear no matter the yearBut all throughout each day of the yearThere could hardly be a town in the South of England where youcould throw a brick without hitting the niece of a bishop.”
“"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."”
More on Irony
“And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early in the morning and get it out of the way. Then go driving while the visibility is still good.”
“Truth is such a precious article - let us all economize in its use.”
“Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.”