"I guess there is nothing that will..." - Quote by Will Rogers

“We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course.”

“All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.”

“The US is safest when Congress is in recess.”

“Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.”

“What other sport holds out hope of improvement to a man or a woman over fifty? True, the pros begin to falter at around forty, but it is their putting nerves that go, not their swings. For a duffer like [me], the room for improvement is so vast that three lifetimes could be spent roaming the fiarways carving away at it, convinced that perfection lies just over the next rise. And that hope, perhaps, is the kindest bliss of all that golf bestows upon its devotees.”

“Wind is part of the British Open. It is an examination and it took me a long time to pass the examination. Eighty per cent of the fellows out there have not passed the test.”

“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.”

“Oh yeah? What did you have last night?" "Turkey sandwich on wheat. With a pickle." "And the night before?" "Turkey sandwich on wheat. No pickle." She giggled. "What was the last hot meal you cooked?" He pretended to rack his brains. "Uh...beans and franks. On Monday.”

“I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.”