"If my jeans could talk, they'd plead..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.”

“Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.”

“Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.”

“He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style. We had him whether we know who he was or did not know, he was ours and we were his.”

“The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.”

“We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.”

“No one has the right to criticize you for how your body looks, but they will. One thing I've learned from experiencing this exact kind of criticism is that no one else can label your body except for you. No one gets to have a place in your mind if they weren't invited there by you. So please do me this one favor: Don't let their ugly words into your beautiful mind.”

“Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.”

“Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.”