"Meow” means “woof” in cat...." - Quote by George Carlin

“Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.”

“When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.”

“These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.”

“If more Africans had eaten missionaries, the continent would be in better shape.”

“Women are an alien race set down among us.”

“Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play.”

“A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.”

“Dogs do not grasp the concept of house cleaning.”

“When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.”