"When humor go's, there go's civilization...." - Quote by Erma Bombeck

“I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly.”

“Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.”

“Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.”

“Frying pans! Who knew, right?”

“And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one.”

“Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.”

“Reading is at the center of our lives. The library is our brain. Without the library, you have no civilization.”

“What then is the intellectual advantage of civilization over primitive savagery? It is not necessarily that each civilized man has more knowledge but that he requires far less.”

“To correct the evils, great and small, which spring from want of sympathy and from positive enmity among strangers, as nations or as individuals, is one of the highest functions of civilization.”