"As long as humanity has been human,..." - Quote by Dave Barry
As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved.
More by Dave Barry
“Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by 'they', I mean 'computers'. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)”
“Of course, the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much any wording they want in there. I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the US tax code, you'd find at least one sex scene. ("Yes, yes, YES!" moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture...)”
“It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.”
More on Humor
“My faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.”
“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.”
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”