"If all our national holidays were observed..." - Quote by George Carlin

“We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.”

“My mother and I had a lot of distance between us emotionally, although, on the surface, most of the time, we appeared good and friendly, and all that. But I was a problem. I was a street kid.”

“I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.”

“When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.”

“For jokes as well as justice come in with speech.”

“I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.”

“In a few hundred years, when the history of our time will be written from a long-term perspective, it is likely that the most important event historians will see is not technology, not the Internet, not e-commerce. It is an unprecedented change in the human condition. For the first time - literally - substantial and rapidly growing numbers of people have choices. For the first time, they will have to manage themselves. And society is totally unprepared for it.”

“Rags, wretchedness, poverty and dirt, those signs and symbols that indicate the presence of [Muslim] rule more surely than the crescent-flag itself, abound.”

“It may be affirmed, without extravagance, that the free institutions we enjoy, have developed the powers, and improved the condition, of our whole people, beyond any example in the world.”