“The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.”

“Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.”

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

“In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.”

“Suddenly the nickel-clad horse takes the bit in its mouth and goes slanting for the curbstone defying all prayers and all your powers to change its mind - your heart stands still, your breath hangs fire, your legs forget to work.”

“All babies look like me.But then, I look like all babies.”

“My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.”

“Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.”