“Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.”
“Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.”
“The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.”
“Nothing recedes like success.”
“The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.”
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
“I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.”
“The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!”
“A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.”
“A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.”
“Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.”
“I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.”
“The Chicago mobs... They practiced their own perverted form of "survival of the fittest." Where the strong clawed their way to the top of a criminal empire. And the weak died in a hail of machine gun bullets.”
“Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.”
“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.”
“He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.”
“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.”
“Money sometimes makes fools of important persons, but it may also make important persons of fools.”
“America - love it or leave it.”
“The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.”
“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.”
“We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.”
“Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated out of a million dollars.”
“Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.”
“Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.”
