Walter Winchell

“The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.”

“Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well.”

“Hell hath no fury like a woman cheated out of a million dollars.”

“Broadway is a main artery of New York life - the hardened artery.”

“America - love it or leave it.”

“Today's gossip is tomorrow's headline.”

“A pessimist is one who builds dungeons in the air.”

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”

“The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.”

“We must not indulge in unfavorable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain.”

“I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.”

“An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.”

“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.”

“A certain columnist has been banned from all Shubert openings. Now he can wait three days and go to their closings.”

“I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.”

“The way to become famous fast is to throw a brick at someone who is famous.”

“Nothing recedes like success.”

“The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!”

“Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.”

“He (Alexander Woollcott) always praises the first production of each season, being reluctant to stone the first cast.”

“The Chicago mobs... They practiced their own perverted form of "survival of the fittest." Where the strong clawed their way to the top of a criminal empire. And the weak died in a hail of machine gun bullets.”

“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. America from border to border and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let's go to press.”

“Money sometimes makes fools of important persons, but it may also make important persons of fools.”

“Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.”

“Too many people expect wonders from democracy, when the most wonderful thing of all is just having it.”