"I just love dogs, and there really..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.”

“My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.”

“The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.”

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.”

“A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.”

“When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.”

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”

“What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.”

“Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.”