Men Quotes

Men love you more if they can be made a little uncertain about owning you.

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

Most men judge your importance in their lives by how much you can hurt them.

Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of the women they're married to.

The sexes deceive themselves about one another: the reason being that at bottom they honor and love only themselves (or their ownideal, to express it more agreeably). Thus man wants woman to be peaceable--but woman is essentially, like the cat, not peaceable, however well she may have trained herself to assume the appearance of peace.

Men? Sure, I've known lots of them. But I never found one I liked well enough to marry. Besides, I've always been busy with my work. Marriage is a career in itself and to make a success of it you've got to keep working at it. So until I can give the.

Would you consider a man or a woman to be complicated? Is it that difficult to understand both the sexes? We say that we know what the other sex is all about, but is that really true? Perhaps the following witty, funny quotes and sayings can help simplify things down about men.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

A man's kiss is his signature.

The chief drawback with men is that they are too talkative.

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

If your man is a sports enthusiast, you may have to resign yourself to his spouting off in a monotone on a prize fight, football game or pennant race.

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand.

A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them; they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition.

A woman wishes to mother a man simply because she sees into his helplessness, his need of an amiable environment, his touching self-delusion.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

Man, without a saving touch of woman in him, is too doltish, too naive and romantic, too easily deluded and lulled to sleep by his imagination to be anything above a cavalryman, a theologian or a corporation director.

Like all young men, you greatly exaggerate the difference between one young woman and another.

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.

The happiness of man is: I will. The happiness of woman is: he wills. 'Behold , just now the world ... entire love. And woman must obey and find a depth for her surface. Surface is the disposition of woman: a mobile, stormy film over shallow water. Man's disposition, however, is deep; his river roars in subterranean caves: woman feels his strength but does not comprehend it.

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.

Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can't figure out.

Because when a guy does something stupid once, well, that’s because he’s guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, that’s usually to impress some girl.

I know so much about men because I went to night school.

The advantages of natural folly in a beautiful girl have been already set forth by the capital pen of a sister author; and to her treatment of the subject I will only add, in justice to men, that though to the larger and more trifling part of the sex, imbecility in females is a great enhancement of their personal charms, there is a portion of them too reasonable and too well informed themselves to desire anything more in woman than ignorance

It's a man's world, they say; but in its daily textures it is a world created by and for women.

I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.

Some guys look better as they get older.

Some of the wildest men make the best pets.

I delight in men over seventy. They always offer one the devotion of a lifetime.

Being asked where in Greece he saw good men, he replied, "Good men nowhere, but good boys at Sparta."

The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

Women had a tendency to see what they wanted to see i men, at least in the beginning

Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

The wholly manly man lacks the wit necessary to give objective form to his soaring and secret dreams, and the wholly womanly woman is apt to be too cynical a creature to dream at all.

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.

Women are books, and men the readers be.

My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue.

I am the poet of the woman the same as the man, And I say it is as great to be a woman as to be a man, And I say there is nothing greater than the mother of a man.

The surest aid in combating the male's disease of self-contempt is to be loved by a clever woman.

Men are April when they woo, December when they wed.

Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one woman leading him by the nose, and another hanging on to his coattails.

There are two things a real man likes - danger and play; and he likes woman because she is the most dangerous of play things.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

Get married, but never to a man who is home all day.

A married man forms married habits and becomes dependent on marriage just as a sailor becomes dependent on the sea.

Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

And certainly once a man begins to neglect his domestic duties he becomes painfully effeminate, does he not? And I don't like that. It makes men so very attractive.

A woman's life revolves in curves of emotions. It is upon lines of intellect that a man's life progresses.