"Men who can eat anything they want..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.”

“Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".”

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”

“get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.”

“If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.”

“My husband calls me 'catfish.' He says I'm all mouth and no brains.”

“Men become old, but they never become good.”

“I'm a good woman for a bad man.”

“Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.”