"Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“I'm going to start water skiing someday...as soon as I can separate it from being dragged by a boat.”

“If you are who you are on stage, people pay attention.”

“The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.”

“Friendship is an island that you retreat to and you all fall on the floor and laugh at all the other ninnies that don't have enough brains to have your good taste.”

“It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work when there is no definite object of any kind. To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing.”

“Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.”

“Women are more attuned to feelings than men are, and if they’re not being truthful, more often than not it’s because they think truth might hurt your feelings. But it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.”

“To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.”

“RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages.”