"There's no trick to being a humorist..." - Quote by Will Rogers

“The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.”

“Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.”

“I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year.”

“They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.”

“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”

“Hey, did somebody step on a duck?”

“Withholding of payment of taxes is one of the quickest methods of overthrowing a government.”

“Government is not the solution, but rather the cause of our problems.”

“Politics is the gizzard of society, full of grit and gravel, and the two political parties are its opposite halves - sometimes split into quarters - which grind on each other. Not only individuals but states have thus a confirmed dyspepsia.”