"What kind of man gives cigarettes to..." - Quote by Robin Williams

“If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"”

“I love being backstage, or doing littler things like Blame Canada.”

“When in doubt, go for the dick joke.”

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.”

“Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.”

“A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.”

“I want to ride in a cold air balloon. "This isn't going anywhere!"”

“I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.”

“Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!”