Robin Williams Quotes

“Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.”

“In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'”

“In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."”

“After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.”

“Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone.”

“The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'”

“Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.”

“I thought I was fooling people. But it's the old thing of 'they say vodka doesn't smell'. No, not until you sweat. And you just lie and lie and you think 'I can deal with this'. And then you finally go, 'No you can't'. And then you give up.”

“Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.”

“Canadian money is also called the loony. How can you take an economic crisis seriously?”

“The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.”

“I stopped drinking when I had children because I wanted to be awake and aware. I did not want to be going, you know, daddy loves you and then drop my head on the table. I do not want to miss anything that they do or say. It is important to me.”

“If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go "What happens if you take two?"”

“You'd think all of these "atypical" somethings would add up to a typical something”

“When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?”

“Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds”

“I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?' And I said, 'Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?'”

“I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.”

“Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.”

“Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier.”

“We were totally opposite - me coming from the West Coast and a junior college, and him [ Christopher Reeve] from the hard-core Ivy League. He used to be the studly studly of all studlies, and I was the little fool ferret boy.”

“Directing requires great discipline, that ability to be in and out at the same time. The great ones I've worked with are like generals. It's a bit like a small war on that level. The great ones have that combination of freedom and control. I'm nowhere near that. There's still so much to do as an actor. I have enough to explore with that.”

“As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.”

“It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp”

“"It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, [the alcohol] will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." He added, "For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."”