“Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.”

“In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'”

“In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."”

“After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.”

“Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone.”

“Those that are good manners at the court are as ridiculous in the country, as the behavior of the country is most mockable at the court.”

“Literature is a comprehensive essence of the intellectual life of a nation.”

“If we tire of the saints, Shakspeare is our city of refuge.”