"I know I want to have children..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“My parents always told me I could do anything, but never told me how long it would take”

“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.”

“Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.”

“Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.”

“Holmes is so ugly, his grandmother said when he started to cry the tears would stop and roll down the back of his head.”

“The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.”

“No child in Africa, and in fact anywhere in the world, should be denied education.”

“It's wrong I think, morally and annoying in general, to try to get a kid to be a foodie, so I never even suggested, "Hey baby it's good, maybe you should try it." That never worked for me.”

“Few things make the life of a parent more rewarding and sweet as successful children.”