“Good people end up in Hell because they can't forgive themselves.”

“In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'”

“In California, we are a sixty percent Hispanic state, we elected an Austrian governor. Even old Nazis are going "That's weird."”

“After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.”

“Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone.”

“A nation, like a tree, does not thrive well till it is engraffed with a foreign stock.”

“Nor knowest thou what argument Thy life to thy neighbor's creed has lent. All are needed by each one; Nothing is fair or good alone.”

“Why should all virtue work in one and the same way? Why should all give dollars? It is very inconvenient to us country folk, and we do not think any good will come of it. We have not dollars; merchants have; let them give them. Farmers will give corn; poets will sing; women will sew; laborers will lend a hand; the children will bring flowers.”