"Men don't mature. Marry a younger one...." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“On my tombstone it will say: 'I tried everything - nothing was easy.'”

“I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.”

“While I do occasionally order items on the Internet, it's hard to teach an old shopper new tricks. I'm convinced that the catalogue will eventually disappear, but not until the last baby boomers have kicked off their smelly Nikes and been buried in mulch.”

“One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!”

“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.”

“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat... Never take yourself too seriously.”

“I would rather be seated between any two women than any two men at a dinner party.”

“Man's objection to love is that it dies hard: women's, that when it is dead it stays dead.”

“Thus do I want man and woman to be: the one fit to wage war and the other fit to give birth, but both fit to dance with head and feet.”