She's as funny as a toothache
“Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.”
“A small waist makes you tire easily.”
“You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.”
“The secret to humor is surprise.”
“Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.”
“I can't explain why a bride buys her wedding dress, whereas a groom rents his tux.”
“Sometimes Howard [Cosell] makes me wish I was a dog and he was a fireplug.”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”
“Howard Cosell was gonna be a boxer when he was a kid only they couldn't find a mouthpiece big enough.”
