"The time you spend grieving over a..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?”

“Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.”

“My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.”

“You have to love a town where you can both smoke and gamble in a pharmacy.”

“Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.”

“Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.”

“We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.”

“It is a good thing to be rich and strong, but it is a better thing to be loved.”

“The seizure of passionate love can be, in such a context, only illicit, breaking in upon the order of one's dutiful life in virtue as a devastating storm.”