"It's hard to be funny when you..." - Quote by Mae West

“Brains are an asset, if you hide them.”

“Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

“I know so much about men because I went to night school.”

“Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.”

“Keep your virginity for as long as you can, until it starts to feel weird to you. Then just get it over with.”

“I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark.”

“I saw Danny Kaye in a movie, and he was doing voices and faces on that big, big screen and making whole audiences laugh. It was just an instant hookup.”

“You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!”

“We are specially designed to appeal to the sense of humour.”