"I knew so little about money I..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.”

“You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.”

“I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.”

“I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world.”

“The good rain, like a bad preacher, does not know when to leave off.”

“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.”

“Money is either a good or bad influence, according to the character of the person who possesses it.”

“Money writes books, money sells them. Give me not righteousness, O Lord, give me money, only money.”

“Paper money is like dram-drinking, it relieves for a moment by deceitful sensation, but gradually diminishes the natural heat, and leaves the body worse than it found it. Were not this the case, and could money be made of paper at pleasure, every sovereign in Europe would be as rich as he pleased. But the truth is, that it is a bubble and the attempt vanity. Nature has provided the proper materials for money: gold and silver, and any attempt of ours to rival her is ridiculous.”