"Never trust anything you read in a..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.”

“People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'”

“He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.”

“France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.”

“I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”

“A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.”

“I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.”

“The Press, which is mostly controlled by vested interests, has an excessive influence on public opinion.”

“I am a little jet lagged from my trip to Malaysia...The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days.”