"If you want to talk to me..." - Quote by Mitch Hedberg
If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.
More by Mitch Hedberg
“Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!”
“Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars!”
“I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.”
More on Humor
“You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.”
“My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.”
“I think that I'm a better speechwriter than my speechwriters. I know more about policies on any particular issue than my policy directors. And I'll tell you right now that I'm gonna think I'm a better political director than my political director.”