"If you look like your passport photo,..." - Quote by Earl Wilson

“There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.”

“The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.”

“Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back”

“Depending on where you live, cooking, sex and pooping are either 3 of life's pleasures or what kills you”

“Whatever may be said against the chewing of tobacco, this at least can be said of it, that it gives a man time to think between sentences.”

“Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?”

“It is pleasant to have been to a place the way a river went.”

“Tis ever common That men are merriest when they are from home.”

“Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.”