"Believe it or not, there are twice..." - Quote by Tim Vine

“So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'”

“For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.”

“People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.”

“The English are always degrading truths into facts. When a truth becomes a fact it loses all its intellectual value.”

“The ancient historians gave us delightful fiction in the form of fact; the modern novelist presents us with dull facts under the guise of fiction.”

“The orator is thereby an orator that keeps his feet ever on a fact.”

“It seems to me that every phenomenon, every fact, itself is the really interesting object. Whoever explains it, or connects it with other events, usually only amuses himself or makes sport of us, as, for instance, the naturalist or historian. But a single action or event is interesting, not because it is explainable, but because it is true.”

“I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.”

“Every thoughtful pin on pinterest has beauty. But not everyone can see.”