"Never accept a drink from a urologist...." - Quote by Erma Bombeck

“Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.”

“Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.”

“The grass is always greener over the septic tank.”

“I was skydiving horizontally.”

“The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat.”

“I try not to go around looking like a hag.”

“Medicines cure diseases, but only doctors can cure patients.”

“I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”

“It is a good idea to 'shop around' before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.”