My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.
“With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.”
“When I was a kid I got no respect. My mother breast fed me through a straw.”
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”
“Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".”
“The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.”
“The hardest exercise for most of us fat people is that one where we push our chairback from the dinner table.”
“I'm kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back.”
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”
