“When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'”

“I learned that by being entertaining you make a connection with another person.”

“Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.”

“Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.”

“I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“I remember the thought which occurred to me when some ingenious and spiritual foreigners came to America, was, Have you been victimized in being brought hither?--or, prior to that, answer me this, "Are you victimizable?”

“The rage for road building is beneficent for America, where vast distance is so main a consideration in our domestic politics andtrade, inasmuch as the great political promise of the invention is to hold the Union staunch, whose days already seem numbered by the mere inconvenience of transporting representatives, judges and officers across such tedious distances of land and water.”

“Luckily for us, now that steam has narrowed the Atlantic to a strait, the nervous, rocky West is intruding a new and continental element into the national mind, as we shall yet have an American genius.”

“Why, look you, I am whipp'd and scourg'd with rods,Nettled and stung with pismires[nettles], when I hearOf this vile politician, Bolingbroke.”

“For Brutus is an honourable man;So are they all, all honourable men.”

“Policy sits above conscience.”

“Russian may seem narrow-minded, impudent, or even stupid people, but can only pray for those who are against them.”

“America is not civil, whilst Africa is barbarous.”

“All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”