"No, Groucho is not my real name...." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.”

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bandages and adhesive tape.”

“I'd have liked to have gone to bed with Jean Harlow. She was a beautiful broad. The fellow who married her was impotent and he killed himself. I would have done the same thing.”

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.”

“You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.”

“The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat.”

“All of us are so mixed. My great-grandfather was white.”

“You got black people in an all-white country and they don't know nothing about themselves.”

“The essentials of being a person of my type lies precisely in what they think and how they think, not in what they do. Your thoughts shape you.”