"Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.”

“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.”

“Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.”

“Why ruin a young girl's life when you can make an older women SO very happy !”

“for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”

“Every failure teaches a man something, to wit, that he will probably fail again.”

“My hair stands on end at the cost and charges of these boys. Why was I ever a father! Why was my father ever a father!”

“My dad was fiscally conservative, and I was influenced by that. He didn't believe in spending more than you had because it gets you into trouble.”

“I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.”