"Men love to be the first to..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.”

“Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"”

“When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.”

“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”

“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”

“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.”

“All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.”

“The chief drawback with men is that they are too talkative.”