"He thinks I look alike!..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.”

“My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.”

“Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.”

“That is the real spiritual awakening, when something emerges from within you that is deeper than who you thought you were. So, the person is still there, but one could almost say that something more powerful shines through the person.”

“I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.”

“It is only our deeds that reveal who we are.”

“She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.”

“I won't be satisfied until people want to hear me sing without looking at me. Of course, that doesn't mean I want them to stop looking.”

“Every true man's apparel fits your thief.”