"For me, the worst part of playing..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.”

“The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.”

“There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.”

“Mousse was a Labrador retriever, which is a large enthusiastic bulletproof species of dog made entirely from synthetic materials. This is the kind of dog that, if it takes an interest in your personal regions (which of course it does) you cannot fend it off with a blowtorch.”

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”

“Neville Chamberlain looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe.”

“It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”

“The other sad truth about golf spectatorship is that for today's pros it all comes down to the putting, and that the difference between a putt that drops and one that rims the cup, though teleologically enormous, is intellectually negligeable.”

“What other sport holds out hope of improvement to a man or a woman over fifty? True, the pros begin to falter at around forty, but it is their putting nerves that go, not their swings. For a duffer like [me], the room for improvement is so vast that three lifetimes could be spent roaming the fiarways carving away at it, convinced that perfection lies just over the next rise. And that hope, perhaps, is the kindest bliss of all that golf bestows upon its devotees.”