"I'm not a person who likes authority...." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.”

“I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.”

“I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were 1,000 girls. And there were three jobs. So I said I'll just try comedy. And I loved it.”

“The call of the spinning wheel is the noblest of all. Because it is the call of love. And love is Swaraj.”

“For, after all, the foundation of our whole nature, and, therefore, of our happiness, is our physique, and the most essential factor in happiness is health, and, next in importance after health, the ability to maintain ourselves in independence and freedom from care.”

“None but a woman can teach the science of herself.”

“All rulers in all ages have tried to impose a false view of the world upon their followers.”

“A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war, it is permitted to none below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the general in the field.”

“Science should be on tap, not on top.”