"I must confess, I was born at..." - Quote by Groucho Marx

“You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces?”

“I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”

“I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.”

“We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.”

“You don't have to be a star to get a cheese sandwich. You just have to be first.”

“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”

“I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me." "What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?" "Sure she could. I just found that out too late.”

“What was it like to wake up after having never gone to sleep? That was when you were born.”

“Folks, I'm telling you, birthing is hard and dying is mean- so get yourself a little loving in between.”