"I have a hold limit that I've..." - Quote by Rita Rudner

“I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were 1,000 girls. And there were three jobs. So I said I'll just try comedy. And I loved it.”

“When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.”

“You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.”

“A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then, it's too late.”

“The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. The happiness of a married man depends on the people he has not married. One should always be in love - that's the reason one should never marry.”

“You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.”

“He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a year.”

“So far as my experience goes, travelers generally exaggerate the difficulties of the way. Like most evil, the difficulty is imaginary; for what's the hurry?”

“Like Patience gazing on kings' graves, and smilingExtremity out of act.”