"Carpe per diem - seize the check...." - Quote by Robin Williams

“I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.”

“Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.”

“On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.”

“I couldn't imagine living the way I used to live. Now people come up to me from the drug days and go, 'Hi, remember me?' And I'm going, 'No, did I have sex with you? Did I take a dump in your tool box?'”

“There are some women whose pregnancy would make some sly bachelor smile.”

“There are two types of speakers: those thatare nervous and those that are liars.”

“I meet a man with a thousand dollars and leave him with two; that's the meaning of subtraction.”

“Even now, if I am thinking about spending a lot of money on clothing or furniture, I think 'I can't spend so much money on one thing; my poor old Daddy could have raised his family five years on that!'”

“Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'”